Chapter 9: The Confession
I didn't sleep that night.
Couldn't.
Too many thoughts swirling in my head.
Brenda called me at 11:00 PM.
"Mariana?"
"Did you do it?"
"Of course I did. I told him I was leaving. He looked like he was going to cry. It was honestly kind of sad."
"Sad?"
"Pathetic," she said. "He's so pathetic. How did you ever love him?"
I didn't answer.
"Mariana?"
"I don't know anymore," I admitted. "I don't know how I felt about anyone. Except you."
"Mariana..."
"I didn't mean to do this to you. I didn't mean to make you work with him. To make you—"
"It's okay. I wanted to help you."
"But how could you do that to yourself? How could you make out with him? With someone you hate?"
"Because I love you," Brenda said. "And I knew it was the only way to get you free."
I felt my throat close up.
"Mariana? Are you there?"
"I'm here. I just—" I took a breath. "Thank you."
"It's okay."
"It's not okay. But thank you."
I hung up.
The next morning, I went to see my father.
He was in his office, drinking black coffee.
"Mariana. How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay."
"Really?"
"Really. I think I'm... I think I'm finally okay."
He smiled.
"I'm proud of you."
"Proud of me? I lied to my husband for four years. I used his mistress to destroy him. I—"
"You saved yourself," he said.
"I destroyed him."
"He destroyed himself. You just showed everyone the truth."
I sat down across from him.
"I've been thinking about something."
"What?"
"I want to forgive him."
My father raised an eyebrow.
"Not to his face," I said quickly. "I want to forgive him for me. So I can let go."
"That's a big step."
"I think I need to do it. I think I need to let this go. Because holding onto the anger—it's destroying me."
"Then forgive him."
"But don't tell him. Don't give him the satisfaction."
"I won't."
I stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"To see my mother. And then—" I paused. "And then I'm going to start over."
May you like
My father nodded.
"Good."
