CHAPTER 5
I flew back to Virginia that night, and I went straight to the hospital.
Emma was asleep when I arrived, her small body curled up beneath the blankets like a child who had never known fear.
I sat in the chair beside her bed and watched her sleep.
I had to protect her.
I had to find the truth.
But the truth was more complicated than I had ever imagined.
Mark was sick.
Mark was hurt.
Mark had been damaged by something that happened when he was a child.
But none of that excused what he had done.
He had tried to kill his own daughter.
He had put propofol in her drink.
He had almost succeeded.
I had to figure out what was really going on.
I had to find out if Rachel was involved.
I had to find out if Mark had been acting alone.
I had to find out if there was someone else pulling the strings.
---
Emma woke up the next morning and asked for Mark again.
"Not today," I said.
"Tomorrow?"
"Not tomorrow, either, baby."
"Will you ever see Daddy again?"
"I don't know."
"I miss him."
"I know."
"Mommy, is Daddy okay?"
"No, baby. Daddy is not okay."
"Will he be okay?"
"I don't know."
"Can we pray for him?"
I nodded.
We clasped our hands together and prayed.
We prayed that Mark would be okay.
We prayed that Mark would get the help he needed.
We prayed that Mark would not go to prison.
But as I prayed, I didn't feel God listening.
I only felt cold and empty.
---
Three days later, Mark was arraigned.
I sat in the front row of the courtroom, and I watched him walk in.
He looked older than I remembered.
His hair was graying at the temples.
His face was lined with worry.
His eyes looked at me with regret and sadness.
"Lauren," he whispered as he walked past.
I didn't say anything.
I couldn't.
The judge read the charges: Attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, poisoning.
The public defender pleaded not guilty.
I watched Mark's face as the charges were read.
He wasn't crying.
He wasn't smiling.
He was just staring at me.
"What's your relationship to the defendant?" the judge asked.
"I'm his wife," I said.
"Do you want to say anything?"
"No," I said.
But I did want to say something.
I wanted to scream at him.
I wanted to ask him why.
Why had he done it?
Why had he hurt Emma?
Why had he destroyed our family?
But I didn't ask.
I just sat there and watched them lead him away.
---
After the arraignment, I went back to the hospital.
Emma was eating lunch when I walked in.
"Mommy!" she said happily. "Look! They have ice cream!"
"Great, baby."
"Where did you go?"
"I had to go to court."
"Court?"
"I had to see Daddy."
"Can I see Daddy?"
"Not yet."
"I want to see him."
"You can't, baby."
"Why?"
"Because he's being punished."
"For what?"
"For doing something bad."
"Was Daddy bad?"
"Yes, baby. Daddy was bad."
"Will he always be bad?"
"No, baby. One day, he won't be bad anymore. He'll be good again."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
The lie tasted bitter in my mouth.
But I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.
---
That afternoon, Detective Miller came to the hospital.
"I have news," she said.
"Good news or bad news?"
"Both."
"Tell me the bad news first."
"Mark's lawyer is asking for a psychological evaluation. They're going to argue that Mark is mentally incompetent."
"That's not bad news. That's true. He is mentally incompetent."
"Maybe. But if the court finds him competent, he'll go to trial. If the court finds him incompetent, he'll go to a psychiatric institution."
"Where do you think he'll go?"
"I don't know. But one of those options means he'll be free one day."
"Free?"
"Yes. If he's sent to a psychiatric institution, he'll be released eventually. He'll be allowed to live his life again."
"But he tried to kill my daughter."
"I know. But that's how the law works."
"I don't want him free. I want him to pay for what he did."
"You want him in jail?"
"Yes."
"Then you need to hope that he's found competent."
"What's the good news?"
"I found the woman who killed Michael Thomas."
"You did?"
"Yes. She lives in a nursing home in Miami."
"What's her name?"
"Elizabeth Williams."
"Can we go see her?"
"Yes."
May you like
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
