Chapter 3 - THE THING SHE HID
My mother was waiting at her kitchen table when I arrived.
No makeup.
Gray robe.
Cold coffee.
She looked older than she had at Christmas.
“What did Sophie tell you?”
Mom folded her hands.
“She was sick.”
“I know that now.”
“No.”
She looked at me.
“She knew before the divorce.”
I sat across from her.
“She called me after you didn’t answer.”
My jaw tightened.
“She said the doctors had found a mass.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because she begged me not to.”
“And you listened?”
Mom flinched.
I hated myself immediately.
“Sorry.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“You’re allowed to be angry.”
“I’m not allowed to make you responsible for what I did.”
That surprised both of us.
Mom reached into a drawer.
She placed a sealed envelope on the table.
My name was written across it in Sophie’s handwriting.
“She gave me this.”
“When?”
“The morning of the divorce hearing.”
I stared at it.
“Why didn’t you give it to me?”
“She told me only if something happened to her before she could explain herself.”
My stomach dropped.
“Something happened.”
“I know.”
“Then why do you still have it?”
“Because she called me three days ago.”
I looked up.
“She told me not to give it to you.”
I laughed once.
It sounded ugly.
“Of course.”
Mom pushed the envelope toward me.
“I’m done choosing for both of you.”
I did not touch it.
“What’s inside?”
“I don’t know.”
That was probably true.
Mom stood.
“Ethan, she didn’t hide this because she wanted to punish you.”
“Then why?”
“She thought you were already drowning.”
I looked at the envelope.
“That wasn’t her decision.”
“No.”
Mom’s voice hardened.
“And leaving without listening wasn’t yours to make alone either.”
I deserved that.
I took the envelope.
Outside, dawn was beginning to lighten the sky.
I sat in my truck and tore it open.
Inside was one sheet of paper.
Not a goodbye letter.
Not medical information.
A photograph.
An ultrasound image.
My hands started shaking.
The date was one week before our divorce hearing.
On the back Sophie had written five words.
May you like
I COULDN’T LOSE THREE PEOPLE.
