Chapter 13 - THE DAY EVERYTHING BROKE
The biopsy morning went wrong before sunrise.
Sophie woke with a fever.
By six, she was shaking.
By seven, we were back in the emergency department.
The biopsy was postponed.
Blood cultures.
Antibiotics.
More waiting.
Sophie became angry.
Not sad.
Angry.
She threw the hospital blanket off.
“I am so tired of being a patient.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
“You’re right.”
“I hate this bracelet.”
She pulled at it.
“I hate that everybody asks me my birthday like I’m going to forget it.”
A nurse quietly stepped out.
Sophie started crying.
“I hate that my body keeps becoming a room where bad news waits.”
I moved closer.
She did not tell me to stop.
“I hate that I lost them.”
“I know.”
“I hate you for leaving.”
My throat tightened.
“I know.”
“I hate that I still love you.”
There it was.
No music.
No perfect timing.
Just fluorescent lights and a fever.
I sat down.
“I still love you too.”
She covered her face.
“That makes me so angry.”
“Me too.”
She laughed once through tears.
Then she looked at me.
“I don’t know if love is enough.”
“It wasn’t.”
She lowered her hands.
I continued.
“We had love.”
“We didn’t have honesty.”
“We didn’t have grief.”
“We had silence pretending to be kindness.”
She stared at me.
“That sounded rehearsed.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Too good.”
“I’m occasionally competent.”
She smiled despite herself.
Then the nurse returned.
The cultures suggested a treatable infection.
The fever could be controlled.
The biopsy would happen after she stabilized.
Relief came.
Then another call came.
My commanding general.
The seventy-two hours were over.
I had a choice to make.
May you like
For the first time, I did not make it alone.
