Chapter 15 - THE RING IN THE BOX
The Army did not punish me for taking leave.
It promoted someone else into the temporary command.
That stung.
I admitted it.
Sophie looked surprised.
“You’re allowed to be disappointed.”
“I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do.”
She was right.
Again.
I returned to duty part-time while she recovered.
We started therapy.
Separate first.
Then together.
Our therapist, Dr. Chen, had no patience for elegant excuses.
I told him I had compartmentalized.
He said, “You mean avoided.”
I disliked him immediately.
Sophie loved him.
During our third session, he asked why we divorced.
I gave the reasonable answer.
Grief.
Distance.
Different coping styles.
He looked at Sophie.
She said, “He left before I could leave him.”
I turned.
“What?”
She stared at her hands.
“I thought you would eventually decide I was too broken.”
“Sophie.”
“I lost two babies.”
“So did I.”
“I know that now.”
She looked at me.
“But back then, I thought you looked at me and saw failure.”
I could barely breathe.
“I never thought that.”
“You never said what you did think.”
There it was.
Silence again.
Dr. Chen said nothing.
He did not rescue me.
So I spoke.
“I thought I had failed you.”
Sophie’s eyes filled.
“I thought if I touched you, I’d remind you.”
“I thought if I talked about them, you’d fall apart.”
“I thought if I admitted I was falling apart, you’d have nobody.”
She whispered.
“I needed you to fall apart with me.”
I nodded.
“I know.”
After therapy, we sat in the parking lot.
Sophie reached into her purse.
She placed her wedding ring between us.
“I kept it.”
I looked at it.
“So did I.”
Her eyes widened.
Neither of us put them on.
May you like
Not yet.
