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Chapter 22 - WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I hated the question immediately.

What do you want?

I wanted 2018 back.

I wanted to answer Mom's email with, No, don't put my name on anything.

I wanted Britney to be embarrassed enough to ask for help before she stole it.

I wanted Dad to lose sixty-three thousand dollars in a way that somehow did not damage anyone else.

I wanted Mom to understand the word no without translating it into abandonment.

None of those were available.

Priya laid out what was.

The prosecutor was considering negotiated pleas rather than taking every possible charge to trial.

Britney had cooperated, turned over the USB drive, admitted the false vehicle application, admitted deleting records, and offered to testify about the later business paperwork.

Mom had not.

Dad had admitted his role and was in treatment for gambling addiction.

"You are not the prosecutor," Priya reminded me. "You don't get to choose charges or sentences. But they want your input on restitution and contact terms."

"Restitution for what?"

"Direct losses. Legal expenses may be handled separately. Some amounts are disputed."

"Of course they are."

"Erin."

"Sorry."

Priya waited.

"What do you want?"

I looked out her office window.

"I want my name off the company."

"We're already doing that."

"I want every fake account closed. Every fake email preserved, then shut down. I want them prohibited from using my information for anything."

"Reasonable."

"I want Britney to pay something back."

"How much?"

I thought about the four thousand dollars from 2019.

Half had gone to her rent. Half to debt I did not know about.

I thought about legal fees.

Time.

Humiliation.

The burn on my cheek that had healed in days but somehow started all of this.

"I don't know," I said.

Priya nodded.

That was the right answer, apparently.

I added, "I don't want an amount she can never pay."

"Why?"

"Because then it's theater."

Priya leaned back.

"Good."

"Stop saying good when things are terrible."

She smiled. "Occupational habit."

I laughed despite myself.

We proposed a restitution schedule tied to documented losses and a no-use/no-access order covering my identity and financial information. I asked for no contact with Mom for one year except through counsel or in a genuine medical emergency involving Dad or Britney.

I asked for no no-contact order against Britney.

Priya raised an eyebrow.

"Sure?"

"No. But yes."

The plea hearing was scheduled for January.

Mom called me the night before.

I almost did not answer.

Then I did.

"You shouldn't come tomorrow," she said.

No hello.

"Why?"

"Because you already won."

I sat quietly.

"Mom, there is no winning here."

"Easy for you to say. You still have your job, your apartment, your savings."

"You used those things as permission to take from me."

"I was trying to save this family."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's true."

I looked at the wall for a long time.

Then I said, "Maybe."

She went silent.

I had never given her that before.

"Maybe you were trying to save us," I said. "And maybe you hurt us anyway. Both can be true."

Mom made a small sound.

For one second I thought she was crying.

Then she said, "You sound like your therapist."

I blinked.

"I don't have a therapist."

"Britney said you did."

I almost laughed.

"Britney lies. Remember?"

There was a pause.

Then, unexpectedly, Mom laughed too.

A tiny broken laugh.

It was the first shared sound between us in months.

Then she whispered, "I don't know how to fix this."

I closed my eyes.

"Neither do I."

May you like

The next morning, she changed her plea.

 

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