CHAPTER 12: THE GATHERING
A month later, my father called and asked if he could have dinner with me at my house. Just me and him.
"Your mother doesn't know," he said. "She's been staying with Lauren."
"Staying?"
"She left. She said she wanted a break. I think she's going to file for divorce."
I was quiet.
"Are you okay with that?" I asked.
"I think I've been married to the wrong woman for forty years. I'm ready to be alone."
It wasn't a happy statement, but it was an honest one. And honesty was something we were learning.
"Come over," I said. "I'll cook."
He arrived at 6 PM with a bottle of wine and a nervous smile. I'd cooked his favorite meal—roast chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans. The same meal from the night everything fell apart.
But this time, no one was laughing.
We ate in comfortable silence. He told me about his childhood, about the father who'd never said "I love you," about the mother who'd died when he was young.
"I never learned how to be a good father," he said. "I didn't have an example."
"But you had me," I said. "And you had plenty of time to learn."
"I know. I messed up."
"Dad, I'm not here to judge you. I'm just... trying to move forward. Figure out what kind of family we can be."
"What about your mother?"
"I don't know. She's going to have to decide if she wants to be part of my life."
"Right. That's fair."
We finished dinner, and he helped me with the dishes. A small thing, but it was the first time he'd ever helped with anything.
"Can I tell you something?" I asked.
"Of course."
"I spent years trying to buy your love. All the money, all the gifts, all the favors. I thought if I gave enough, you'd finally see me."
He set down the dish towel. "Rachel, I'm sorry."
"I know. But I don't want you to feel guilty forever. I just want you to be my dad."
"That's what I want too."
May you like
He hugged me. It was awkward and clumsy, but it was real.
And that was enough for now.
