Chapter 9 - Maria's Choice
Maria came to Nina's apartment on the sixth day after the fall.
She wore a black shoulder brace under a loose sweater and carried no overnight bag.
Oliver recognized her voice before he saw her.
He twisted in Adrian's arms, searching.
Maria stopped in the entryway.
Her face crumpled.
"Hey, bug," she whispered.
Adrian handed him to her carefully.
For nearly a minute, neither adult spoke.
Oliver pressed one palm against Maria's cheek and pulled her hair.
"Yes," she said, crying and laughing. "Still rude. Good."
They sat in the living room.
Nina had gone to the grocery store partly because they needed food and partly because she understood that some conversations became harder with an audience.
Maria kept Oliver on her lap.
"Detective Bell came yesterday," she said.
"He told me."
"They asked about the argument before the balcony."
Adrian nodded.
"I gave them my phone."
"Why?"
"Because Vanessa texted me after I told her I was giving you the drive."
Adrian's jaw tightened.
"What did she say?"
Maria looked at him.
"I can show you, but I don't want you to treat every message like another room you need to search."
He almost objected.
Then he heard Claire's voice in his head: He gives every emotion a task list.
"Tell me only what matters."
Maria's shoulders eased.
"She wrote, 'If you do this, you destroy Claire twice.' Then, 'He survived because I kept him standing. You don't get to take that away.'"
Adrian looked at the floor.
"She believed that."
"Yes."
"That she saved me."
"She did help you."
Adrian looked up sharply.
Maria did not retreat.
"I know what she did to Oliver. I was there. I also know she got you out of bed after the funeral. She handled people who wouldn't stop calling. She sat outside your office door when you hadn't eaten. She made sure Oliver had diapers when you couldn't remember what day it was."
Adrian's throat tightened.
"Why are you defending her?"
"I'm not."
Maria shifted Oliver against her uninjured arm.
"I'm refusing to make yesterday erase everything that happened before it. That's how people become stories instead of people."
Adrian leaned back.
"Claire would have said something like that."
"Probably with better grammar."
He laughed once.
The sound startled him.
Maria smiled briefly, then looked down at Oliver.
"There is something I need to tell you before you decide what happens with my job."
"You already said you don't want to come back as nanny."
"I know. This isn't about that."
Her fingers moved slowly over Oliver's sock.
"The morning Claire died, she called me from her car."
Adrian went still.
"I thought she was already driving. She wasn't. She was parked outside a coffee shop. She said she had finally decided to stay with her mother for a week. She asked me to pack some of Oliver's things without making it dramatic."
Adrian's pulse began to pound.
"You never told me."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because two hours later a police officer called the house."
Maria swallowed.
"Afterward, when you were barely functioning, I thought telling you Claire had planned to leave that day would destroy you."
"So you lied."
"I stayed quiet."
"That's a lie."
"Yes."
Adrian stood.
Oliver startled at the movement.
Maria pulled him closer.
Adrian saw it and stopped pacing.
"I spent five months thinking my marriage was fine when she died."
"I know."
"You let me think that."
"Yes."
"And then you watched me get engaged to the person she was afraid was taking over our life."
Maria's eyes filled.
"Yes."
Adrian pressed both hands to his head.
"How did you justify that?"
"Badly."
He stared at her.
Maria's voice shook.
"At first I told myself you were grieving. Then I told myself Claire had not actually left yet, so maybe she would have come back. Then you started dating Vanessa, and I thought if I gave you the recordings, you would accuse me of trying to break up your relationship."
"Would I have?"
Maria held his gaze.
"Probably."
The answer landed because it was true.
Adrian sat again.
"I hated Vanessa by then," Maria said. "Not because I knew she was dangerous. I didn't. I hated the way she spoke for Claire after Claire was dead. I hated that you believed her. I hated that Oliver smiled at her."
She looked down at the baby.
"That last part made me ashamed. He was a baby. He smiled at ceiling fans. But grief made all of us ridiculous in different ways."
Adrian rubbed his face.
"Why tell me now?"
"Because after the balcony, I don't want one more thing in this family surviving because someone thinks you're too fragile to hear it."
The room stayed quiet.
Oliver grabbed at the zipper on Maria's brace.
Adrian watched them.
"I am angry with you," he said.
"I know."
"I may stay angry for a while."
"That's fair."
"And I don't want you making decisions for me again."
"Also fair."
He hesitated.
"But I don't want you gone because you're afraid I'm angry."
Maria looked up.
"I'm not deciding today."
"Good."
"That sounded almost normal."
"Don't get used to it."
Oliver squealed.
Maria kissed the top of his head.
"I miss him so much it hurts."
Adrian looked at her brace.
"You don't have to stop loving him because the job changes."
Maria's eyes closed for a moment.
When Nina returned, Maria stayed for dinner.
They ate takeout noodles around the low coffee table because Oliver refused to settle in the high chair.
The conversation drifted to ordinary things: Nina's lost luggage, Maria's sister's terrible parking, the grocery store running out of the only brand of formula Oliver liked.
Underneath it all sat Claire, Vanessa, the fall, the case, the recordings.
Nobody mentioned them for almost an hour.
Adrian realized the silence did not feel dishonest.
It felt like rest.
After Maria left, Detective Bell called.
"The prosecutor is moving forward," he said. "The video and audio are strong. Ms. Sterling's counsel has requested a mental health evaluation before the next hearing."
Adrian looked at Oliver asleep against Nina's shoulder.
"What does that mean?"
"It means the process will take time."
Adrian almost asked how much.
Instead he said, "All right."
Bell paused.
"There's one thing you should know. Ms. Sterling asked her attorney to return an item to you. The attorney contacted us because it's property from your home."
"What item?"
"A framed photograph of Claire and Oliver. Apparently Ms. Sterling had it in a storage unit."
Adrian closed his eyes.
"There are more things there?"
"We don't know yet."
Adrian thought of the missing poem, the nursery drawers, the lavender bed.
"I'll deal with it tomorrow," he said.
May you like
Then he took Oliver from Nina and carried him to bed.
